Online Apartment Rental Listing Poem

$ Rent that you still can't afford despite making more money than your parents ever did
Address: either perfrect or miles away from your job
Date Available: Too soon for you to possibly be ready to move in
Type: Apartment, because you will never own a house
Cooling: Contact Manager
Heating: Contact Manager
Pets: NO PETS, NO JOY OF ANIMALS FOR YOU!
Parking:$75 a month on street
Laundry: Shared coin op. in the deepest darkest basement with the scariest stairs you have ever seen
Deposits and Fees:First months rent, last months rent, security deposit and broker's fee, it's called that so you will be broke upon move in

If you get approved that is...

If we even let you apply that is...
of coure we'll still be taking your application/credit check fee

Contact: Slimeball ThickHair, maybe you'll hear back

By Gail Bello